EPIPHANY 🩷

What am I running away from?

From eating healthy.

From taking my sister to a pretty beach.

From becoming the topper in uni.

From calling my dad.

An array of beautifully arranged 

symmetrical trees.

I am scared of beautiful

I'm terrified of symmetry.

I confide in comfort 

I'm scared of that too.

One day I know my comfort zone 

Is gonna obliterate my sense of self.

A shallow water of self loathing.

There, it takes me that level of sadness

To get out of the cluster,

And explore myself.

Who knows maybe one day

I'll be licking the sweetness 

of an ice cream 

While (god forbid) something terrible 

is happening to me.

My voice, my face, the height of my being 

All, waiting for me to reach them

And yet, here I stand complacent,

between the array of trees

Hoping to be given an asli aam.

Feeding on the ephemeral and personal

Comfort and gratification.

Thiruvanmiyur 🩷 After Kitty's game.