My efforts

My recluse phase must pay.

For I have too many unsaid words

Too many unfriended friends 

Tons of dances and parties unattended 

Missed appreciations and adorations

Flowing down the drains of my occassional regret

I don't hate talking 

But I hate initiating.

A conversation initiated by me is a blunder 

I need more practice in believing in myself 

To connect with people.

I am a glamourous shell 

With a touch me not inside.

I get a new friend 

And every second I pray

Please don't hurt me *1000

And that's exactly what happens 

Sort of like a domino effect 

I surrender at 1001

Better is disconnect,

But holding together what you have.