Us girls🖤

After the incident,

I remember laying down with her.

On the marble floor, 

our spines sucking in the coldness of it.

What makes someone press a razor blade 

Into their own skin, and maybe enjoy the pain?

Her eyes were red,

A scary smile painted on her face.

As if I didn't notice,

The depth of pain she was in,

Trying to numb it down 

Shearing her delicate skin.

I guess I had my arms under her head,

her arms tugging on my waist 

Like I was some sort of a last resort for her.

I thought she wanted me 

to say something to her

But I didn't know how.

So I kept my silence. 

I haven't felt that helpless my entire life.

She was crumbling right in my arms

And I laid all alone in the roads of uncertainty.

You know one day you will be alright no? - 

This came out of my mouth almost involuntarily, 

but thank goodness it did.

Those dried up eyes started getting moist

And like desert rain, 

she cried into my shoulders,

Those tears of hope

Making my chest rock heavy, 

threatening to burst with grief.

The threatening bite of her grief,

They still haunt me at nights like this.

A tapestry of well constructed words,

Carefully woven by my 

empathetic consciousness I guess.

I made her smile (with contentment)

I used to lover her frugality in expressing herself,

But then I saw HER. 

She was not a broken person 

as she said she was.

She did everything in her power to survive,

Such a person can never be destroyed.

They'll find their way out.

I need some water, 

I should calm down

She's fine now, 

she's actually doing great now.

But I'm scared 

if that would happen to me 

Or anyone that I love,

The first time that I felt 

useful was that evening.

Maybe that little buttercup 

was searching for those words in me,

And the moment she heard them,

Catharsis began.

(Semi autobiographical)